Today we read the last set of Six Questions that Forrest Fenn will provide to Jenny Kile of Mysterious Writings. The answers to the questions left us with the same wondering mind that the previous set of six questions had, but this years answers contained something a bit more. They contained the emotional news that Forrest will be creating more separation between himself, and the chase. So, what exactly does that mean for the search community? It means that he will be answering less emails. He will be providing less interviews and statements to the press. It means that he will be trying to enjoy the rest of his life with his family and loved ones, without the static and noise from the chase getting in the way.
Is this something that we should be surprised about? Not at all. Forrest has tried to step back before, but just as the thrill of the chase can entice someone to addiction level, the buzz of this crazy search community can pull people back in for more socializing. I do believe that this time will be different for him though. I believe that as the age of 90 slowly creeps up to his doorstep, he is learning that he needs to slow down and separate himself from the drama of the chase. I do believe he's done this chase tired, and now is weak.
Recently, a few of very visual searchers have laid claim that they are quitting the chase and taking time off as well. Their decisions have created quite the ripple in the community. Speculations of all kinds are running rampant. I would like to encourage the community, however, to take a deep breath, close your eyes, and count to 10. By the time you open your eyes back up, they will be back. Quitting the chase and taking a break has become quite the great attention grabber. If you ask me, it's a lot like suicide. The person who cries suicide is usually the one who won't actually go through with it. It's the quiet ones who just sneak off are the ones you have to worry about.
― Dr. Seuss
I am no spring chicken, and as I come up to my wedding date I am faced with many questions about why have I decided to dedicate the rest of my life to this person. This person is FAR from perfect. He has been the cause of so many arguments and more tears than I could ever count. We have been on the verge of collapse a multitude of times. Yet, he is the person that I long to see each morning when I wake, and he is the person that I want to cuddle with every night as I fall asleep. But why?
To find that answer, I think the quote by Dr. Suess explains a lot. You see, I am not perfect either. I am but a human. Human's make mistakes. I have almost 40 years worth of baggage that I carry with me. I am not looking for the perfect partner, I am looking for the perfect partner for me. I make mistakes, I can be over emotional, and I will Google the hell out of something until I am satisfied that I have found the truth. I love hard, I am obsessive, and since I am a little bit ADD, sometimes I need someone to reel me back in. I need a partner who is strong enough. I need a partner who has no problem standing up to me at the right times, who can admit he was wrong the other times, and who can hold me and remind me that I am loved and worthy of that love.
I have worked very hard at this relationship. I have worked harder at it than any other in my entire life. You see, this man reminds me a lot of Shrek. LOL He is like an onion, with so many layers to peel back. Peeling back those layers will definitely make you cry, but you have to keep going. I know more about this man than any other living human being on the planet does, save for maybe his father. And to my amazement, with each layer, with each new found tear, I keep falling deeper in love with him. Maybe it is my desire to want to help and fix people, or maybe it is a tapestry of life that we are weaving, and with each layer the threads are drawn tighter.
I know that marriages are a lot of work, and I know that we are both humans, and I expect both of us to make mistakes along the way. But I also know, that he will never find someone who loves all of him (his beauty, his secrets, his ugliness) the way that I do, and I doubt that anyone else will ever make me feel the sense of home that I find in him. There has always been an odd sense that we are supposed to be together, and I think that's why I want to slap him even harder when he does something stupid.
None the less, he is the weirdo that I have chosen, and I am the weirdo that he has chosen, and together our weirdness will continue to grow.
Two weeks ago, I decided that I needed to incorporate something new into my daily life. Prior to Christmas, I had participated in a strength training class twice a week for 12 weeks, and managed to hit Personal Records on all of my lifts (225 lbs. on squat, 215 lbs on deadlift, and over 100 lbs on bench). But now I wanted something to help lean me out. I was tired of pushing myself to be physically stronger. I wanted to push myself to be stronger mentally as well, and not just in the "you can do it" kind of way. So, I searched for some yoga videos.
One morning in my living room, I rolled out a yoga mat and spoke into my Xfinity remote, and found Adriene. Yoga with Adriene has over 4 million subscribers on YouTube, and after just one or two of her videos you can see why. I started her Dedicate: 30 Day Yoga Journey, and after just completing Day 13 with her, I can say that I look forward to waking up each and every day now. She has become my morning. Her encouraging words help me wake up, and give me the strength that I need to face a new day.
Surprisingly, I am doing much better at this whole yoga thing than I expected. I have always tried to maintain good flexibility, but I don't have that lean bohemian body that you typically see going in and out of a yoga studio. Two weeks of Dedicate and I feel more erect, more poised, and am 6 lbs. lighter. I am hoping to take another 14 lbs. off before March. Maybe one day I will share what I am doing with my diet to pair up with this awesome yoga journey, but for now, I'll let you get back to your life.
Several months ago I watched a movie, Fahrenheit 451. It was less thrilling of a movie than the trailers led me to believe it was, but it had an interesting concept strung throughout the plot: Words were outlawed and everything was communicated in symbols. As I watched, I kept thinking about how our society is slowly changing into a society like this, with all of our emojis and symbols, but that there is no way we could ever go to that full extreme. Right?
couldn't be, but I am still unsure what exactly it did mean.
Now, let's fast forward to this week, where I have been overwhelmed by symbols. While filling out my unemployment claim and while job searching through their website, I encountered several new symbols. I suppose the symbols should make it easier for people to quickly see requirements and scroll through jobs faster, but there was one symbol that I stared at for a good 5 minutes trying to figure out what it meant. I pretty much figured out everything that it
Since then, I have been noticing symbols everywhere: stereo manual, recipe sheets, public restrooms, road signs, websites, emojis, prescription drug bottles, food containers, AHHHHHHH!!!! You see, the more I see these symbols everywhere the more I realize how quickly we are evolving back to a symbol society. Yes, I said back to. Why did I say that? Well, have you seen the hieroglyphs in Egypt? Are hieroglyphs and symbols an advanced communication system, or are they a step back in the evolutionary chain? It's hard to imagine being able to communicate everything we think, feel, and need to say with a symbol, but then again, if we continue to become a society that disconnects from human interaction and keeps increasing our virtual intelligence, then yes, it is possible that one day, just one day, we will no longer need to know how to read, write, and sing our ABC's. Children in schools no longer are taught handwriting, since the keyboard has been deemed more valuable. I remember when one of my daughters was in elementary school, and she was being taught to write words by sounding them out and writing down how she thought they were spelled. When I asked the teacher why she never corrected the incorrect spelling, she said it was because spelling was no longer important. She said technology will help make up for poor spellers, and it was more important to help her with the phonics. I suppose you do need to make sure you pronunciate perfectly when you are talking to an artificial intelligence being.
Man… I am really bad at this blogging thing. I suppose I should set a reminder to do this everyday. I mean, how do bloggers blog every single day? Do they have lives? Do they get time to enjoy the world from a perspective that doesn't include a computer screen?
Clue #4 in my iTreasure Hunt was released last night, and I am surprised how many people are struggling with it. I thought it would be an easy one. I am also surprised by how many people still haven't figured out Clue #3. Maybe this hunt is harder than I initially anticipated.
Much like Forrest Fenn, I have revised many of the clues in this hunt of mine several times. I want it to be fun, and just challenging enough for people to want to do it. When a hunt is too hard, people tend to drop off. For example, the Astana book. When I first got the book, I sat and wrote out all the characters onto graph paper. I made numerous copies so I could play around and experiment. However, I don't think I have spent anytime on it in the past 6 months.
I just received a new book in the mail today with more treasure hunts in them. Well, this book has been out for somewhere in the neighborhood of 6 months, but a fellow FennTuber inspired me to grab this book and give it a go. It is Armchair Treasure Hunts by Jenny Kile. Wish me luck! I can't wait to figure out Forrest's words to searchers. They will probably inspire a video, and a bunch of adventures down quite a few rabbit holes.
Jenny's book is available here:
It is finally 2019! Time to put all the pain, struggle, and events of 2018 behind us and focus on the new opportunities that 2019 will bring.
I'd like to wish each and every one of the happiest and brightest new year!
Yes! I have officially made it through all of the "first" holidays without Sammi. Being on this side of the holiday season, I can reflect and look back on everything, and I can definitely say that the anticipation of the holidays was the worse part. Leading up to each holiday, I tended to think about all the holidays of the past, and started to wonder what this holiday season would be like. How should you act that first holiday? I wondered if I should change the normal flow of the day, or if it was even ok to keep it the same and be happy.
Now that I have survived them, I can say what worked best for me. I kept a lot of our normal traditions, but I did change a couple little things, in order to create new traditions without Sammi. My other daughter is getting older and I actually gave her, her Christmas present early, and I made sure my soon-to-be-step-daughter was at her mother's house Christmas morning, so we were able to rearrange our Christmas Day schedule. We all slept in, casually had breakfast, then opened some presents. We visited some friends and family in a drive by/drop in fashion, then had immediate family come by at 5pm. At 6pm, we video chatted with our Florida family, and tears were shed when we unwrapped a personalized memorial wind chime for Sammi.
The biggest suggestion I have for anyone who has experienced a loss of a loved one, is allow yourself to feel. Allow yourself to feel all emotions. It is ok to cry, it is ok to laugh, and it is ok to feel everything you want and need to feel. It is healthy to have a moment where you break down and cry. It's also healthy to start laughing at yourself in the middle of that emotional break down.
This Christmas was one of the best ones I have ever had. I went into it with low expectations and I made myself stay relaxed. I made sure I was surrounded by family and loved ones all day, and that I allowed myself to remanence, miss, and feel. This easy-going vibe is what allowed me a day with no anxiety, and allowed me to be thankful for each and very moment I had. After all, that is really what it is all about; living the life that we are blessed with, in honor of those loved ones who no longer can.
Everyone says that the first year after losing a loved one is hard, and all the "firsts" are definitely proving to be big triggers for emotions. For me, it seems that the anticipation of a holiday ends up being worse than the actual holiday. The "first" Thanksgiving, the "first birthday, and the "first" Christmas without your loved one there will be the hardest. The week leading up to Thanksgiving was roller coaster of emotions. The few days before her birthday, December 13th, I was introverted and reflective. I tried to hold in my emotions and continue to go on with my life that day, but my face ended up exploding in tears that night as I blew out her birthday memorial candle. Now, with Christmas just around the corner, I have made plans to change our normal Christmas morning routine, and plan on trying to avoid anything and everything that may send me into an emotional spiral of grief on that day,
But is that what I should be doing? There is no right way or wrong way to grieve, but allowing yourself to feel is healthy. I have learned the hard way that locking in and pushing your feelings aside only bottles them up for a later, and greater release. So what is a good compromise for Christmas? How can I allow myself to grieve her absence from the present holiday, but still make good memories with my living loved ones to look back on and cherish down the road?
I am getting married in 2019!!! I am so excited! My fiancé and I have known each other for a little over 3 years now, and I can't imagine life without him. We have gone through so much together, and being "middle aged", we have had to learn how to help each other sort through all the baggage that we carry around. We were both married once before when we were really young, but needless to say, those marriages didn't work out. It's kind of funny that when we first met, we both said that we didn't want to get married ever again.
My fiancé is a big "nerd". He is a video game and comic junkie. He decided that he wanted his groomsmen to be the "Avengers". Now, I am not a big video game and comic lover, but I was able to find Infinity Stone necklaces, and decided that each one of my bridesmaids, the flower girl, and myself could wear one during the event. This was me trying to fit in with his vision. I want a shabby chic formal occasion, so the challenge has been how to incorporate the Avengers into our wedding, without it looking like a 5 year olds birthdate party. I think I have created some unique and classy pieces that I can't wait to share with everyone. This New Year, pending my lay off from work, I plan on starting a Wedding Series on my YouTube channel. I want to share my excitement and details with you so badly. I just can't help but throw my passions out into the world.
Our original budget had to be upped once we started to look at venues, caterers, and vendors, and now we are maxed out. There is still sooooo much more that we want to do with our wedding, but we are out of money. With me getting laid off in three weeks, it doesn't look like we will be able to come up with extra money for the "extras". If you would like to help us in having the most fabulous wedding ever, please check out my Amazon Wedding Wishlist, and send us something off of it. For ever item off of my wishlist that we receive, I will do a video on how I am going to use that item at our Wedding. Feel free to contribute more than one item. Some of them work best paired with another item on the wishlist.
I want to thank you in advance for being a supporter of my life! Your energy and thoughts have helped me through tough times this year. Without the kindness of friends, family, and complete strangers, I don't know how I would have made it this far, and I am sure everyone will continue to be as awesome and amazing in 2019.
Click Here to check out our Wish List:
Being the Princess Tiny Bladder that I am, the first thing that I had to do after getting through security at the Cleveland Airport was go to the bathroom. A Cleveland Policewoman directed me to a Ladies Room near gate B1, and off I went. Now, bathrooms at CLE are small. From what I have seen on my travels in and out of here, each bathroom only has 5-7 stalls. So, when I walked in to the restroom, 4 of the 7 stalls were occupied.
My first choice was backed up with nasty brown water, so I moved onto the next empty one. That one had high clear water in it, so I made a comment to the bathroom attendant about the condition of these two toilets. She immediately began to investigate. I moved on to the last available stall; it looked normal, so I went in.
Just at the moment when I was getting ready to pull my pants back up, I hear the woman to my right scream that the toilet in her stall was over flowing, and sure enough, water started spilling over and creeping into my stall. I started to laugh to myself, and edged my suitcase out of the way and made sure that my pants legs were free and clear. It was during this scramble that I noticed that the water in my toilet was starting to rise as well. With that, I buttoned my pants and scrambled to get out of my stall with my suitcase, backpack, long winter coat, and my sanity. If you know how the majority of airport bathroom stalls are, you know that most are not configured to allow a suitcase to easily fit between an opening door and the toilet. This is truly an art. One I am still trying to perfect. I figured I could wait to zipper my pants until I was safe from contamination.
As I blew out of my stall, I couldn't help but laugh hysterically. I mean, this was funny. Every toilet in this bathroom decided to expunge its contents at the same time. You can't make this kind of stuff up. The bathroom attendant was shouting "B1 B1" on her walkie talkie, and trying to explain to the person on the other end what was going on. The other woman standing at the sink, who was wiping off her personal belongings, was having a hard time finding the humor in this situation. It is a shame to take life so seriously.
I lost my first best friend when I was around 11 years old. Her family moved back to Ohio, but I had started to push her away long before that. The pressures of being a middle school girl, going through puberty and trying to find "your place" helped with that.
Through the years, losing touch with her was one of the greatest regrets that I had. We had formed so many impactful memories, and she genuinely made me want to be a better person. She was so bright and brilliant, even at a young age, that she secretly pushed me to want to be just as great as her.
Since the advent of social media, I have raked through pages of strangers looking for her. A few years ago I finally found her on Facebook and we were able to reconnect through the magic of the internet. Last night, we finally managed to reconnect in person, after almost 30 years. While enjoying a smooth, comforting Malbec, we caught up on the 30 years of each others lives that we missed. Memories flowed, and questions of each others families were asked. Sitting across from her was surreal and magical. We have walked completely different paths in life, and she said she had often wondered how different her life would be if she hadn't moved away.
My obsession for footwear began in my late 20years, and has continued ever since. Over the years, I have learned to appreciate fine, quality footwear, as cheaper brands and materials just don't last nearly as long. I am old now. My body isn't changing size rapidly like it did when I was a kid. Is it wrong for me to expect that something that I enjoy wearing lasts a decade? I mean, I have one of my dad's button down Wrangler shirts hanging in my closet. I think I stole it from him over 20 years ago. It is still as nice as the day I swiped it. Footwear should live up to the same expectations. It is unjust when the manmade materials of a pair of knee high boots or gorgeous heels that I have falling in love with start to peel and flake just a year after spending my hard earned money on them.
I joined Poshmark in May of 2015. While scrolling through the shoes category in the app one day, I fell in love with this expensive pair of BedStu boots. I mean, the most expensive pair of boots I had ever purchased was a pair of 20 hole Dr. Martens when I was 15. They were $150, but it was my parents' money back then, not mine. Well, these BedStu boots Retailed for over $300, and to me that was just ridiculous. But they were amazing! I had to have them. So, I made the seller an offer, and got them, with shipping, for just under $200. I had a bunch of money saved up from the selling of my own items in my closet, so I only paid around $100 out of pocket.
They came in! Yay!!! I opened the box, saw the gorgeous leather work, smelled the sweet smell of leather, and couldn't wait to put them on. When I did, they were way too tight. Oh my God! How am I supposed to wear these? Maybe I should have gotten a larger size?
Then it hit me! They are leather. Pure, authentic, animal skin leather. I flashed back to being a child and watching my grandfather use this strange device in his shoes to stretch the leather. If only I had something like that, but I didn't. So, I did what anyone in the age of the internet would do. I Googled "how to stretch leather shoes".
I ran over to my sock drawer and found two pairs of my thickest wool socks. I put them on, and then squeezed my feet into these luxurious fine leather goods, and grabbed my hair dryer. I heated up the shoes with the hair dryer, and then walked around my room. I heated the boots up some more, and then walked around some more. I walked up and down the stairs, I did squats, and I tried to move in all the strange and unique ways of the human body to stretch out every pesky angle of these babies.
It worked! After about 15 minutes of fun, the boots were completely comfortable with a pair of regular socks, and then I was addicted to searching through Poshmark looking for all the sorry boots that had been worn once by their owners and then tossed aside because they were "too tight" or "uncomfortable" or because they "rubbed a spot too hard". I now know the secret, of not only how to custom form leather shoes to my feet, but also how to acquire barely used leather goods at a fraction of their retail cost.
Here are some actual styles that I personally own and adore:
I told you… I am an addict. But, that's ok. I like my issues.