Today we read the last set of Six Questions that Forrest Fenn will provide to Jenny Kile of Mysterious Writings. The answers to the questions left us with the same wondering mind that the previous set of six questions had, but this years answers contained something a bit more. They contained the emotional news that Forrest will be creating more separation between himself, and the chase. So, what exactly does that mean for the search community? It means that he will be answering less emails. He will be providing less interviews and statements to the press. It means that he will be trying to enjoy the rest of his life with his family and loved ones, without the static and noise from the chase getting in the way.

Is this something that we should be surprised about? Not at all. Forrest has tried to step back before, but just as the thrill of the chase can entice someone to addiction level, the buzz of this crazy search community can pull people back in for more socializing. I do believe that this time will be different for him though. I believe that as the age of 90 slowly creeps up to his doorstep, he is learning that he needs to slow down and separate himself from the drama of the chase. I do believe he's done this chase tired, and now is weak.

Recently, a few of very visual searchers have laid claim that they are quitting the chase and taking time off as well. Their decisions have created quite the ripple in the community. Speculations of all kinds are running rampant. I would like to encourage the community, however, to take a deep breath, close your eyes, and count to 10. By the time you open your eyes back up, they will be back. Quitting the chase and taking a break has become quite the great attention grabber. If you ask me, it's a lot like suicide. The person who cries suicide is usually the one who won't actually go through with it. It's the quiet ones who just sneak off are the ones you have to worry about.

Two weeks ago, I decided that I needed to incorporate something new into my daily life. Prior to Christmas, I had participated in a strength training class twice a week for 12 weeks, and managed to hit Personal Records on all of my lifts (225 lbs. on squat, 215 lbs on deadlift, and over 100 lbs on bench). But now I wanted something to help lean me out. I was tired of pushing myself to be physically stronger. I wanted to push myself to be stronger mentally as well, and not just in the "you can do it" kind of way. So, I searched for some yoga videos.

One morning in my living room, I rolled out a yoga mat and spoke into my Xfinity remote, and found Adriene. Yoga with Adriene has over 4 million subscribers on YouTube, and after just one or two of her videos you can see why. I started her Dedicate: 30 Day Yoga Journey, and after just completing Day 13 with her, I can say that I look forward to waking up each and every day now. She has become my morning. Her encouraging words help me wake up, and give me the strength that I need to face a new day.

Surprisingly, I am doing much better at this whole yoga thing than I expected. I have always tried to maintain good flexibility, but I don't have that lean bohemian body that you typically see going in and out of a yoga studio. Two weeks of Dedicate and I feel more erect, more poised, and am 6 lbs. lighter. I am hoping to take another 14 lbs. off before March. Maybe one day I will share what I am doing with my diet to pair up with this awesome yoga journey, but for now, I'll let you get back to your life.

Namaste

Several months ago I watched a movie, Fahrenheit 451. It was less thrilling of a movie than the trailers led me to believe it was, but it had an interesting concept strung throughout the plot: Words were outlawed and everything was communicated in symbols. As I watched, I kept thinking about how our society is slowly changing into a society like this, with all of our emojis and symbols, but that there is no way we could ever go to that full extreme. Right?

Now, let's fast forward to this week, where I have been overwhelmed by symbols. While filling out my unemployment claim and while job searching through their website, I encountered several new symbols. I suppose the symbols should make it easier for people to quickly see requirements and scroll through jobs faster, but there was one symbol that I stared at for a good 5 minutes trying to figure out what it meant. I pretty much figured out everything that it couldn't be, but I am still unsure what exactly it did mean.

Since then, I have been noticing symbols everywhere: stereo manual, recipe sheets, public restrooms, road signs, websites, emojis, prescription drug bottles, food containers, AHHHHHHH!!!! You see, the more I see these symbols everywhere the more I realize how quickly we are evolving back to a symbol society. Yes, I said back to. Why did I say that? Well, have you seen the hieroglyphs in Egypt? Are hieroglyphs and symbols an advanced communication system, or are they a step back in the evolutionary chain? It's hard to imagine being able to communicate everything we think, feel, and need to say with a symbol, but then again, if we continue to become a society that disconnects from human interaction and keeps increasing our virtual intelligence, then yes, it is possible that one day, just one day, we will no longer need to know how to read, write, and sing our ABC's. Children in schools no longer are taught handwriting, since the keyboard has been deemed more valuable. I remember when one of my daughters was in elementary school, and she was being taught to write words by sounding them out and writing down how she thought they were spelled. When I asked the teacher why she never corrected the incorrect spelling, she said it was because spelling was no longer important. She said technology will help make up for poor spellers, and it was more important to help her with the phonics. I suppose you do need to make sure you pronunciate perfectly when you are talking to an artificial intelligence being.

Man… I am really bad at this blogging thing. I suppose I should set a reminder to do this everyday. I mean, how do bloggers blog every single day? Do they have lives? Do they get time to enjoy the world from a perspective that doesn't include a computer screen?

But anyway…

Clue #4 in my iTreasure Hunt was released last night, and I am surprised how many people are struggling with it. I thought it would be an easy one. I am also surprised by how many people still haven't figured out Clue #3. Maybe this hunt is harder than I initially anticipated.

Much like Forrest Fenn, I have revised many of the clues in this hunt of mine several times. I want it to be fun, and just challenging enough for people to want to do it. When a hunt is too hard, people tend to drop off. For example, the Astana book. When I first got the book, I sat and wrote out all the characters onto graph paper. I made numerous copies so I could play around and experiment. However, I don't think I have spent anytime on it in the past 6 months.

I just received a new book in the mail today with more treasure hunts in them. Well, this book has been out for somewhere in the neighborhood of 6 months, but a fellow FennTuber inspired me to grab this book and give it a go. It is Armchair Treasure Hunts by Jenny Kile. Wish me luck! I can't wait to figure out Forrest's words to searchers. They will probably inspire a video, and a bunch of adventures down quite a few rabbit holes.

It is finally 2019! Time to put all the pain, struggle, and events of 2018 behind us and focus on the new opportunities that 2019 will bring.

I'd like to wish each and every one of the happiest and brightest new year!

I SURVIVED!

Yes! I have officially made it through all of the "first" holidays without Sammi. Being on this side of the holiday season, I can reflect and look back on everything, and I can definitely say that the anticipation of the holidays was the worse part. Leading up to each holiday, I tended to think about all the holidays of the past, and started to wonder what this holiday season would be like. How should you act that first holiday? I wondered if I should change the normal flow of the day, or if it was even ok to keep it the same and be happy.

Now that I have survived them, I can say what worked best for me. I kept a lot of our normal traditions, but I did change a couple little things, in order to create new traditions without Sammi. My other daughter is getting older and I actually gave her, her Christmas present early, and I made sure my soon-to-be-step-daughter was at her mother's house Christmas morning, so we were able to rearrange our Christmas Day schedule. We all slept in, casually had breakfast, then opened some presents. We visited some friends and family in a drive by/drop in fashion, then had immediate family come by at 5pm. At 6pm, we video chatted with our Florida family, and tears were shed when we unwrapped a personalized memorial wind chime for Sammi.

The biggest suggestion I have for anyone who has experienced a loss of a loved one, is allow yourself to feel. Allow yourself to feel all emotions. It is ok to cry, it is ok to laugh, and it is ok to feel everything you want and need to feel. It is healthy to have a moment where you break down and cry. It's also healthy to start laughing at yourself in the middle of that emotional break down.

This Christmas was one of the best ones I have ever had. I went into it with low expectations and I made myself stay relaxed. I made sure I was surrounded by family and loved ones all day, and that I allowed myself to remanence, miss, and feel. This easy-going vibe is what allowed me a day with no anxiety, and allowed me to be thankful for each and very moment I had. After all, that is really what it is all about; living the life that we are blessed with, in honor of those loved ones who no longer can.

Everyone says that the first year after losing a loved one is hard, and all the "firsts" are definitely proving to be big triggers for emotions. For me, it seems that the anticipation of a holiday ends up being worse than the actual holiday. The "first" Thanksgiving, the "first birthday, and the "first" Christmas without your loved one there will be the hardest. The week leading up to Thanksgiving was roller coaster of emotions. The few days before her birthday, December 13th, I was introverted and reflective. I tried to hold in my emotions and continue to go on with my life that day, but my face ended up exploding in tears that night as I blew out her birthday memorial candle. Now, with Christmas just around the corner, I have made plans to change our normal Christmas morning routine, and plan on trying to avoid anything and everything that may send me into an emotional spiral of grief on that day,

But is that what I should be doing? There is no right way or wrong way to grieve, but allowing yourself to feel is healthy. I have learned the hard way that locking in and pushing your feelings aside only bottles them up for a later, and greater release. So what is a good compromise for Christmas? How can I allow myself to grieve her absence from the present holiday, but still make good memories with my living loved ones to look back on and cherish down the road?

Being the Princess Tiny Bladder that I am, the first thing that I had to do after getting through security at the Cleveland Airport was go to the bathroom. A Cleveland Policewoman directed me to a Ladies Room near gate B1, and off I went. Now, bathrooms at CLE are small. From what I have seen on my travels in and out of here, each bathroom only has 5-7 stalls. So, when I walked in to the restroom, 4 of the 7 stalls were occupied.

My first choice was backed up with nasty brown water, so I moved onto the next empty one. That one had high clear water in it, so I made a comment to the bathroom attendant about the condition of these two toilets. She immediately began to investigate. I moved on to the last available stall; it looked normal, so I went in.

Just at the moment when I was getting ready to pull my pants back up, I hear the woman to my right scream that the toilet in her stall was over flowing, and sure enough, water started spilling over and creeping into my stall. I started to laugh to myself, and edged my suitcase out of the way and made sure that my pants legs were free and clear. It was during this scramble that I noticed that the water in my toilet was starting to rise as well. With that, I buttoned my pants and scrambled to get out of my stall with my suitcase, backpack, long winter coat, and my sanity. If you know how the majority of airport bathroom stalls are, you know that most are not configured to allow a suitcase to easily fit between an opening door and the toilet. This is truly an art. One I am still trying to perfect. I figured I could wait to zipper my pants until I was safe from contamination.

As I blew out of my stall, I couldn't help but laugh hysterically. I mean, this was funny. Every toilet in this bathroom decided to expunge its contents at the same time. You can't make this kind of stuff up. The bathroom attendant was shouting "B1 B1" on her walkie talkie, and trying to explain to the person on the other end what was going on. The other woman standing at the sink, who was wiping off her personal belongings, was having a hard time finding the humor in this situation. It is a shame to take life so seriously.